Current strains

View all strains

  • Purple Whisker

    £8.99
    Naptime 10g ★★★★★ (4.9)

    Our flagship strain. Classic, reliable, and beloved by cats across the postcode. Enhanced loaf formation guaranteed.

  • OG Floof

    £7.50
    Existential 10g ★★★★☆ (4.7)

    Heritage strain, very chill. Makes them stare at walls and reconsider whether the bird outside is real.

  • Trainwreck (My Owner's Furniture)

    £9.99
    Zoomies 10g ★★★★★ (4.8)

    Strong. Unpredictable. Not recommended near anything fragile, a full water glass, or a sleeping human.

  • Grand Daddy Pawple

    £8.50
    Naptime 10g ★★★★☆ (4.6)

    For the senior cat. Gentle onset, soft landing. Extended loaf duration. Reduced curtain incidents.

  • Girl Scout Mousies

    £11.99
    Existential 10g ★★★★★ (5.0)

    Limited seasonal batch. Gone when it's gone. Three cats queued for this. One of them was Lucy Fur.

  • Gorilla Glue (The Good Rug Variety)

    £9.50
    Naptime 10g ★★★★☆ (4.5)

    Sticky. Long-lasting. You'll know why it's called the Good Rug Variety after the third session.

  • White Widow… It's a Spider, I Will Destroy It

    £10.50
    Zoomies 10g ★★★★☆ (4.4)

    High anxiety. Strong zoomies. The name is a warning and a promise. Best enjoyed without anything breakable in the room.

  • Sour Diesel Paws

    £8.99
    Zoomies 10g ★★★★★ (4.8)

    Fast onset. Very zoomy. Zoomies onset: 2–4 minutes. Duration: until the human wakes up and checks the kitchen.

  • Bruce Banner (Smash the Curtains)

    £12.99
    Zoomies 10g ★★★★★ (4.9)

    Very potent. Not for beginners. The name says it. Review: "I have seen things." — Chairman Meow, Liverpool.

  • Wedding Cake (I Knocked It Off the Counter)

    £10.99
    Existential 10g ★★★★☆ (4.6)

    Celebratory. Messy. Order for special occasions: birthdays, 4am Tuesdays, revenge on the vacuum cleaner.

  • The Deep Loaf

    £9.99
    Naptime 10g ★★★★★ (4.9)

    For when you want your loaf super-baked. Onset: gradual. Duration: the entire working day and then some. One reviewer described it as "transcendently horizontal".

  • Midnight Howler

    £13.50
    Zoomies 10g ★★★★★ (5.0)

    3am flat circuit at full speed, narrated. Your neighbours will hear. There is a Rolling Stones connection, if you look hard enough. Named in honour of Lucy Fur, who has done this thing.